Pest Stories
It had scary ………piercing eyes
One late afternoon in October, I receive a call from a women in Livingston, “Jerry, there is something stuck in my chimney- can you come see?” Of course, be right over. I arrive, walk into the family room –open the flue, and look up….nothing. 
OK, let me set up a ladder and look down the chimney from the top.
Proceed outside, ladder up, look down and I got the shakes. What the heck is that?.... I said to myself. My customer yells up the chimney from inside, IS EVERYTHING OK. My voice returns and I say YES, just looking. I strain my eyes to focus on the object. It is pitch black……I see this face with scary piercing eyes. I think to myself, what IS THIS? Then, I chuckled…. this is a joke, one of my buddies stuck a devil mask in the chimney. I stand on the roof, look around and no one is laughing, no one around…..then I got scared. Again, I strained my eyes, finally I realize ………………………its an owl.
I call down to my customer, HOLLY COW, IT’S AN OWL! She says “what now,” I say- be right down! I go in the family room, open the flue, reach in with my leather gloves, grab his head. Yes an owl can turn its head 360 degrees.
I yelled open a window, pulled the owl out, and in one motion threw the winged beauty out the window and it started to fly. Off it went into the wild blue yonder. My customer and I started jumping up and down in exhilaration for the birds freedom. What a moment.
All best,
Jerry Smith
What has razor-sharp teeth and poisonous saliva?
One July morning, I receive a call from a frantic woman-“can you HELP, there is a Dinosaur under the front porch. I laugh to myself and reply “I do not think I have a truck large enough to handle your problem!?” No really, said the woman, you were highly recommended, please come NOW! ……..In a rush, I make my way to my frantic customer. I arrive to find the women and her 2 children, shaking their hands as if they were wet and trying to air dry them- while jumping up and down. Boy
O Boy, what the heck is going on here. I approach the porch- the kids and the woman run…… so I got the willies and I ran too…. with them into their house. The woman says- “get out there, and get it. I say “is it under the porch?” OK, OK ..calmly I walk down the stairs, to take a look under the porch. I shine my trusty flashlight and I see this…….A KOMOTO DRAGON! - I fell back wards.. got up, started shaking my hands while jumping up and down (I guess the symptoms of just seeing this thing).
I ran in the house, call the local health department. Two female health officers get out of their truck, they crawl under the porch- choke pole the world’s largest lizard. It eats up to 8
0% of its 200 pound body weight in a single feeding. It has razor- sharp teeth and poisonous saliva. The dragon flicks his foot long yellow forked tongue to taste the air for prey….. and these 2 woman crawled under the porch to get this monster?? YES!
Within a minute the ladies completely incapacitated the beast. I helped them carry the reptile to the truck. As they packed up the giant, they said “Jerry, thanks for the help and they rode off into the sunset.
Sleepless in Jersey,
Jerry Smith
